First vs. the Last

I've been thinking lately how different things are from the first baby you have until you have that last one.  It's crazy how much I've changed as a parent from Landon to Hattie.  When Landon was born, I thought he had to have everything..he was wearing shoes at 3 weeks old, eating baby food at 2 months old and in his own crib/room completely across the house from us at 2 weeks old.  Now, don't get me wrong, some of those changes were just because he was ready (the boy was starving and would not sleep unless he was behind closed doors in his room), but most of his changes were because I was so ready to see the next step and I was ready to see what he could do.  With each child, I've gotten a little more laid back.  I have noticed the most changes with Hattie because she is my last baby.  I know I don't have a chance for these snuggles and baby smells anymore after this.  Well, at least not for many, many years when my babies start having babies (did I mention MANY years??). When Hattie was born, I felt so cheated because she never got to stay in my hospital room with me (because of her sugar levels).  I mean, this was my last chance, but I'm more than making up for it now.  No, she didn't have shoes until she was at least 7 months old and then it was really just to keep her feet warm..she didn't eat ANY baby food until she was 4 months old, and I'm letting her keep that paci until at least 2 years old if she wants it!  I rocked her to sleep every night until she was 10 months old because this is my last baby to rock to sleep.  I didn't do that with the other kids.  It was so important to me to get those healthy sleep patterns down.  Hattie also slept in our room (in her own crib) until 6 months old.  I'd honestly have more kids if I knew Chris wouldn't have a meltdown, but even if I did, eventually, there would be a last baby.  Every little milestone is like a nail in my babyhood days and I can't help but be sad about it.  Even though I'm excited to see her as a toddler and to start school like her brothers, I still find myself getting a little misty-eyed as I give her a bottle.  She is weaning off of them now and will be done within the month.  Do I like washing the bottles every night and buying formula?  Absolutely not, but I love that close connection to her every time she has one.  It's almost unfair how much love and attention the baby of the family gets, but I know it's just a different type of connection than what I have with the other three.  There will definitely come a day when she hates being the baby and hates me loving all over her because she's my last little one, but right now she eats it up and she loves her momma with a fierceness.  I can't help but love her right back!!