It's crazy how strong a mother's love can be..and how different. I have three very special babies that I love in completely different ways. Landon asked me last night who my favorite was. And while I don't have a favorite, I love them all the same for different reasons.
When Landon was born, I had postpartum depression so bad that it took me a few weeks to really feel any connection to him at all. I was so overwhelmed from the depression and being a new mother that I really just wanted my life back the way it used to be. I know that sounds bad, but it's the truth. But after the depression fog lifted, it was like he had always been there and I couldn't imagine life without him! I love the way that Landon knows exactly when you need a hug or a kiss. He's one of the sweetest little boys you'll ever meet. I've even had teachers tell me that he's very intuitive to his friends feelings. He'll always make sure that his friends are happy and that no one is being left out. He's a great big brother and always taking care of Nixon and now Lily. While Landon doesn't like to cuddle, you know that he loves you and wants to make you happy.
When Nixon was born, I didn't have the depression, just overwhelmed going from a parent of one to a parent of two. There was all this pressure to make sure that you were taking care of both kids' needs and making sure you pay enough attention to both and love them the same. I love Nixon because he loves to cuddle. He loves to climb right up in your lap and he's content to just sit like that forever. To this day, he doesn't like to be in a room by himself. He wants someone to constantly be with him. While he can drive you crazy with his constant mischievous ways, he'll then look at you with the cutest little grin and you can't stay mad for long!
Once Lily was born, I felt an instant connection. I don't know if it's because I've always wanted a girl, because I had absolutely no postpartum, because I actually found out what I was having before I had her (so I had more time to connect while I was still pregnant), or a combination of all of these. All I know is that I can't get enough of her and I can't wait for her personality to shine through and see how she fits into our family dynamic.
I love all three of my babies in completely different ways and until you become a mother, you really don't know what unconditional love is. You'd do anything for them, anything to make them happy. Your first priority is always on your children. I love you Landon, Nixon and Lily...with all my heart!!