Friday, January 7, 2011

A Mother's Love

It's crazy how strong a mother's love can be..and how different.  I have three very special babies that I love in completely different ways.  Landon asked me last night who my favorite was.  And while I don't have a favorite, I love them all the same for different reasons.

When Landon was born, I had postpartum depression so bad that it took me a few weeks to really feel any connection to him at all.  I was so overwhelmed from the depression and being a new mother that I really just wanted my life back the way it used to be.  I know that sounds bad, but it's the truth.  But after the depression fog lifted, it was like he had always been there and I couldn't imagine life without him!  I love the way that Landon knows exactly when you need a hug or a kiss.  He's one of the sweetest little boys you'll ever meet.  I've even had teachers tell me that he's very intuitive to his friends feelings.  He'll always make sure that his friends are happy and that no one is being left out.  He's a great big brother and always taking care of Nixon and now Lily.  While Landon doesn't like to cuddle, you know that he loves you and wants to make you happy.

When Nixon was born, I didn't have the depression, just overwhelmed going from a parent of one to a parent of two.  There was all this pressure to make sure that you were taking care of both kids' needs and making sure you pay enough attention to both and love them the same.  I love Nixon because he loves to cuddle.  He loves to climb right up in your lap and he's content to just sit like that forever.  To this day, he doesn't like to be in a room by himself.  He wants someone to constantly be with him.  While he can drive you crazy with his constant mischievous ways, he'll then look at you with the cutest little grin and you can't stay mad for long!

Once Lily was born, I felt an instant connection.  I don't know if it's because I've always wanted a girl, because I had absolutely no postpartum, because I actually found out what I was having before I had her (so I had more time to connect while I was still pregnant), or a combination of all of these.  All I know is that I can't get enough of her and I can't wait for her personality to shine through and see how she fits into our family dynamic.

I love all three of my babies in completely different ways and until you become a mother, you really don't know what unconditional love is.  You'd do anything for them, anything to make them happy.  Your first priority is always on your children.  I love you Landon, Nixon and Lily...with all my heart!!


Meredith said...

That is so sweet!! I feel the same way! It is funny how they are so different.

Suz said...

I love this post! Us girls that don't have kids yet but want to be moms one day have no idea what it is like to have a kid and I love when I have a friend who is honest about her experiences and doesn't make it sound like the whole thing is flowers and sunshine happiness right from the get go. I always wonder what it is like with more than one and if each one is like a repeat of the first time. I know it is a hard job but I hope I am part of the "mommy club" one day!

Becky said...

That is so a mother, you could never love one more than the other....but because of their personalities you love them in very different were fiercly independant...and for that I am thankful. You were always the helper. I never had to tell you twice. You were eager to please and wanted to be the best that you could be. You had goals and you strived to attain them. Lucas......he just does not care! Hope I don't die anytime soon....he would NOT survive! It takes him 2 days to put his clothes away without a TV, Radio, or He is in his own world....Here's praying for a tolerant wife!

Sissy said...

I have to agree 100 percent on the unconditional love and wanting to be able to give your children anything and everthing thay want.But when you become a grandma...oh what a different kind of STRONG LOVE/BOND that becomes. I mean....WOW....Erica, you have become everything and more than we could have hoped for and I love you and your babies,,,,and chris very much