Friday, August 12, 2011

Disappointment...

Romans 8:28  And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Ever have that feeling that nothing you do is good enough?  I've been having that feeling a lot lately!  Well, actually it's something I've always struggled with, but there's something about being a wife and mother that brings it out more.  It's one of those topics that you'd rather push under the rug and not deal with, but what does that really accomplish?  Sometimes you just have to let things out.  So..

*I'd love to be able to run a 5k; really, a half marathon is my big goal, but I just can't seem to get past the pain in my legs.  No matter how much I WANT to be able to do it, it's like my body shuts down and says, "Nope, it's not gonna happen!"  I want to accomplish my goals and enjoy doing it!

*I want to lose weight, but no matter how many diets I try, I can never lose any more than 10 lbs..when you need to lose 30,  ten is not much!  I want to be someone who reaches that goal of 30 lbs lost so that I can feel confident the way I once did. 

*I want to be a good mother and not raise my voice.  I miss my babies when I'm not with them, but ten minutes after picking them up, when they're whining/crying/yelling/fighting, I'm ready for a break again.  I want to be a mother to children who know they're loved and they remember nothing but good things about growing up.  I want them to remember their mom dropping everything else just for a quick snuggle or to play, not worrying about if the house is clean or if my e-mail is checked. 

*I want to be a good wife, but honestly, sometimes you can only fill so many roles in one day and that's usually the one to get thrown to the side.  I want to be a wife that my husband is proud to have and one that doesn't push her husband into last place because that's definitely NOT where he deserves to be!

*I want to be a good friend.  I have a lot of people that I've been friends with for a long time (you know who you are), but if it wasn't for them, we probably would never talk.  I love them all to death, but they're constantly the one who contacts me and not vice versa.  I want to be the kind of friend who calls for no reason, just to check in and see how things are going. 

My goal is to try to change and be the person that I want to be! 

3 comments:

Jenna said...

I'm glad i'm not alone...i hate that you feel this way but i can honestly say I truly understand! Miss you...J

Becky said...

You will ALWAYS be just perfect to me!! Love you!!

Lisa said...

you are perfect in my eyes, youare a great mother and clearly a loving wife...as far as the leg thing, if the pain persists, see a doctor, anti inflamatories can become a good friend and the weight, I know you can do it, even if you don't....you'll get there