Growing Up....

It's still crazy to me to think that I have an almost 11 year old.  Most days, I feel like I'm barely getting myself through, let alone helping to mold four little people that will one day have families of their own.  Landon has always had an old soul and been very grown up.  I say it's the curse of the first born.  But all of a sudden, I'm realizing that my baby is growing up.  He's having actual conversations with me about important things.  He's starting to notice girls and care about what he wears.  I guess I'm probably lucky that we've made it this far and I'm sure because of the older siblings, I won't make it this far with the other three, but still it makes me a little sad.  On the one hand, I'm amazed that he knows things that I have no clue about (sports stats for instance), but on the other hand, I'm sad that we're not talking about which Backyardigan is his favorite (mine was always Tyrone, his Pablo).  I guess this is just that natural flow of life and having kids, but just once, I wish I could hear that little toddler voice again or see him go up to Nixon, rub his head and say, "Ah sweet".  I wish I could go back to those nights when we used to do baths and then watch cartoons for thirty minutes before he went to bed.  I wish that I could go back to when his little chubby hands felt so soft.  I still go check on him every night before bed and all of a sudden, he's taking up the whole bed.  I look at pictures and realize he's only about a foot shorter than me.  I look at him playing with his friends and think that before long, he'll be going out on the weekends instead of sitting by my side.  I love that his sense of independence is growing stronger, but I'll always miss that baby that was glued to my side on the couch.  So, I guess that while we're going through the craziness of life, while there are some episodes that I'm glad to know won't be that way for long, also the joys of it are fleeting.