Blog Hop - This is All I Have to Give

It's so funny how God works sometimes.  I've mentioned that this Proverbs 31 study came to my email right when I needed it.  Well, for a while now, I've been feeling like such a failure in everything I do, but especially this past week. Then, what is one of the topics this week, but 'This is All I Have to Give'.  I think I said those exact words to Chris just a couple of days ago.  Sometimes, as a mom, especially a working mom, you feel pulled in so many directions.  You miss all those sweet moments with your kids while you're working and then by the time you get home, the trials of the day have you so worn down that you can't enjoy the moments you have left before bedtime.  I, personally, have such guilt that decisions I've made are what is keeping my kids from having the life that I would love for them to have. You know, if I wouldn't have gotten credit cards, I'd have more money for family trips, etc.  These little things can eat away at you if you let them. 

In my conversation with Chris, I was telling him that I'm just tired and I feel like I'm at my breaking point.  I don't feel like I can handle much more.  Not only that, the things that I am trying to do - pay off debt, pass the CPA exam, lose weight, make memories that my kids will remember forever - seems like those never happen either.  I feel like I try to do so much that nothing gets done.  

• Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails - Proverbs 19:21
• Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed - Proverbs 16:3

Lysa states, "Remember that everything that happens to you is first filtered through God's hand.  What you might see as distractions, God might see as divine appointments."  Whew!  That puts things into perspective.  That will make you take a step back and realize, maybe I'm not by myself at all.  I don't need to shoulder the burden alone.  So, this week, I'm going to try to take a step back and enjoy the here and now.  I don't need to compare my life to those around me.  God has created me to be the moma to my four wonderful babies.  I'm the Mom that He had planned for them and that's good enough for me!

Being a Mom is Tough (Blog Hop)

I think when we become a mom, we're under the impression that it's all lovey, dovey, piece of cake.  It doesn't take long for you to realize it's anything but a fairy tale.  At least, if you're being honest anyway.  I know there are some moms out there that are always talking about how everything is perfect, couldn't be better.  Personally, I don't buy it.  But who knows, maybe they're just trying to speak it to existence!  

Lately, with four kids, a husband that works non-stop, along with my job and trying to study for the CPA exam, I feel like my job as a mom is getting pushed to back burner.  I. Hate. That.  Let me tell you, when Satan knows a weakness in your armor, that's where he attacks.  I've been having plenty of pity parties..you know the kind where if you would've just done this differently, life would be perfect right now.  I'm constantly feeling pulled in 20 directions.  To the point of just bursting into tears from the mom guilt of it all.  

That is the reason I enrolled into this online study of "Am I Messing Up My Kids" by Lisa TerKeurst.  I'm hoping that this study will help me re-align and realize that everything is going to be okay.  And maybe, just maybe my kids will be okay.  

My number one goal in life is to raise happy, healthy kids that love life and all it has to offer.  I want them to look back at their childhood and be completely happy with all their memories.  I know, that seems like a tall order.  Reading the book, I came across a sentence that completely stuck with me.  It was just what I needed.
      
"You are a good mom, my friend...even if like me you've had a few bad moments.  You are exactly the mom God knew your children needed.  Let's live in that truth today."

If I don't learn anything else from that study other than that sentence, it will be worth it to have participated.  That's exactly what this momma needed to hear.  

Hattie - 15 Months!

Well, little Hattie-girl is 15 months old!  Hard to believe it!  Seems like just yesterday that she was my (not-so) teeny, tiny baby.  At 15 Months, Hattie:

-weighs 21 lbs, 10 oz (30%)
-is 29" long (11%)
-has a head circumference of 46.2 (58%)
-wears size 4 diapers 
-wears 18 mth clothes
-wears size 4 shoes (she has itty bitty baby feet still)
-has 6 teeth
-loves to wrestle.  If the boys are wrestling, she's quick to jump right in the middle
-finally started walking..she can go everywhere now and does.  Although, every once in a while, she decides that crawling may be faster. 
-has started really talking, saying mama, dada, no, yes, bubba (for Landon or Nixon), and Lily.  She'll also imitate most anything if she's in a good mood
-sleeps from 7:30 - 8:00 pm until 8:00-10:00 am.  Chris has also gotten her in the habit of taking 3 hour naps during the day
-eats like a hog.  I think the girl would eat all day, every day if you'd let her.  Her favorite snack is animal crackers
-is finally getting hair long enough for a hair bow.  She's really working on a little baby mullet so I'm thinking it's time for her first trim soon 
-loves the beach.  We've been multiple times this year and she'll crawl right into the water and waves if we let her.  She also loves to play in the sand.  She'll play non-stop.  
-since we've been to the beach so much, she has the cutest little tan lines and baby girl has a pretty good tan going on.  
-has plenty of nicknames: Patty, Patty-Wheeze, Wheezy, Pumpkin-head, Monkey, Pat, & Hattie-girl

I love this little girl more than life itself.  She has so much personality already and has definitely fit right in with our little family.  She's the baby and I'm pretty sure she already knows how to work that card.  I can't wait to see what the next few months hold as she starts to talk and interact more with her siblings.  Hattie-girl, I love you to the moon and back!

20 Things I Haven't Thanked You For (but I probably should have)...

Sometimes we get so used to having people around..we forget that we should be thanking them for all the crap they put up with..we just assume they know..but just in case, here are 20 things that I definitely should be thanking my hubby for:

1.  Thank you for always working so hard for our family.  We've been married for 11 years now and I think there are only about 4-5 months in that time when you have had only ONE job.  The other 10 years, 7 months, you've had at least two..as much as four or five (I can't remember which).  You are a little bit of a workaholic, but you've mainly done this because you wanted to provide all that you were able to so that we could have everything we wanted, not just what we needed. 

Speaking of working so much, 

2.  Thank you for constantly trying to get me on a budget.  I warned you in college that my professor told me that accountants are horrible at budgeting their own funds, but great at managing everyone else's.  I'm not sure you believed that at that point, but I've managed to make you a believer!  You've stuck with me and I think I'm finally seeing the light..even though I don't want to!  6 months in to finally sticking to a modified budget and we're making awesome strides to be debt free!  I wish I would've listened to you all those years ago, but you know me...always stubborn! 

3.  Thank you for always putting up with my moody ways..and we know I am the queen of mood swings!  Especially when it comes to being stuck in the house..this is the #1 reason I couldn't be a stay-at-home mom.  If you spot one coming one, you'll usually make me leave, either with a random ride to look for houses or to just ride around.  

4.  Thank you for laughing at my corny jokes.  I usually make no one but myself laugh, but you always laugh with me (I'm assuming more AT me than WITH me, but nonetheless...)

5.  Thank you for always encouraging me to step out of my comfort zone.  You know I can't stand to take risks, but you always bug me encourage me until I do it.  It may take 30 minutes (ahem, jumping off that humongous rock in Hawaii) but I always do it and then feel so proud of myself. 

6.  Thank you for always being willing to move when the mood struck me. We've been married for 11 years, and we've managed to live in 6 houses. We've moved so many times that we have an awesome system down in which you pack everything and I unpack everything..works out great!

7.  Thank you for giving me four beautiful kids!  I couldn't imagine our life together without them in the picture.  I honestly can't even remember what it was like when there was just two, let alone none!  

8.  Thank you for being such an awesome Daddy!  It started out the day that Landon was born.  You changed your very first diaper while I died laughing watching it all play out.  You've always been very hands-on and you could always get them to sleep so much better than me.  I couldn't do this whole parenting thing without you by my side.  

9.  Thank you for buying me little surprises.  You know that gifts are my love language and you try your best to surprise me with little gifts..from love notes in my lunch bag to glass bottle Pepsi. 

10. Thank you for going along with all my picture ideas.  You're not a big picture fan, but you know that I am and you usually go along with my plans even if we did just take a family picture the day before.  

11. Thank you for always cutting up my steak for me.  You know I've never really learned how to use a knife correctly and that I hate to do it, so you always do it for me..you even do the kids which means you're tired by the time you get to your plate.

12. Thank you for not getting mad when I got in my wreck.  You've complained about how I follow cars too closely for 15 years now, so you had every right to say, "I told you so," but you didn't.  

13. Thank you for not only showing our girls what kind of man that they should look for when the time comes for them to date, but also for showing our boys what kind of man to be.  You're awesome in all ways that count and I couldn't have found a more perfect person for me.  

14. Thank you for always listening to me rant about things that are of absolutely NO importance to you.

15. Thank you for being there for me, always on my side, even when no one else is.  

16. Thank you for always making sure that we spend equal time with both my family and your family on holidays.  It's hard during the holidays to try to get everything done but we always manage with no stress.

17. Thank you for looking forward to my crazy "traditions" as much as I do. You've even started to look for new ones for our family and I love you for it!

18. Thank you for always going to find whatever my craving of the moment was when I was pregnant.  I know you didn't always want to go to the store during nap time to get a Pepsi and snickers or ice cream or salsa and chips, but you always did. 

19. Thank you for doing baths, and supper and homework on those nights that you knew I just couldn't handle it anymore.  You're always there to pick up my slack without me even having to ask.

20. Thank you for being you.  You know how to look at me, what to say and what to do to make me feel like I'm the most important thing in the world and I Love You!!

What You Never Knew About Becoming a Mom

You know, there are some things nobody tells you before you become a mom..some of them are probably because nobody would want to do it..but some of them, you just have to experience for yourself.  In honor of Mother's Day, I've compiled a list of things I never knew before I joined the club.

• Your pregnancy will be awful the first trimester..good for about 2-3 months..and then awful again.  I will say, I'm one of the strange ones that absolutely LOVED being pregnant all four times..but there were definitely some trying times during all four..especially Hattie..I think when you're pregnant with your last child, it has to be especially miserable so you'll know you're done!
• If you have postpartum (which I did with my first two), it consumes you so much that you can't even function.  You have thoughts that make you feel like the most horrible person in the world and you just want your pre-baby life back (which makes the depression, and crying even worse). This is a feeling that you'll never forget and you can automatically detect it in other new mothers, even when they're trying their best to hide it..it's like a secret society where you just understand and it makes you feel your pain all over again for them.  
• Once the postpartum lifts, you're consumed with a love so crazy that even you can't comprehend it.  But then some days, you just feel guilty for having the baby blues to start with and wonder what kind of bonding you missed during that time..
• Guilt, guilt, guilt....it never really ends, you just kind of learn to deal with it.  
• You're always pretty sure you're worst mother ever and that you'll never get yourself together again..but then another person (a mother possibly) will tell you that they don't know how you do it all and it just affirms your self-worth and that maybe, possibly, you know what you're doing after all
• Sometimes you will look at your kids, or a picture of your kids, or even just think about them and you'll feel a love for them that's so strong, you just want to cry
• Time will feel like it's standing still when the baby won't stop crying, and you've got two or three more that are trying your patience and then you'll blink and the oldest is almost 9 (with no baby features left) and you wonder how time flew by so fast
• You feel like you're still a kid yourself, until you have one that has so much energy it makes you tired to just listen to them talk
• Kids consume so much of your life that sometimes you lose touch with people that you think are friends...the true friends understand (probably because they're in the mommy club too) and you can text or call them after a few months of not talking at all and it's like you never lost touch
• All you want is a night to yourself, without giving baths, bedtime routines..but when you get it, you feel lost and worry that before long, they won't need you
• You can stay up all night with a sick child and not even feel tired because of the worry that consumes you..adrenaline just kind of kicks in..but when that child has turned the corner and is feeling better, you feel like you've run a marathon and the exhaustion is intense

And the best thing...you'll always have a piece of you and your husband wrapped into this tiny individual,that you get to help shape and mold and it's the most rewarding experience to see them blossom and grow!!

Hattie - 12 Months!!

How is it even possible for my little baby to be 1 already!?!  I just can't even handle it! She's such a little love muffin and definitely a moma's girl (which I LOVE)!!  At 1 year old, Hattie:

-weighs 19 lb, 1 oz (18%)
-is 28 1/4 in long (22%)
-head circumference is 45 cm (48%)
-wears 12-18 month clothes, depending on cut/style
-wears size 4 diapers
-finally is drinking from a sippy cup consistently!!  All it took was some chocolate milk :)
-sleeps from 7 pm - 7 am
-takes a 2 hour nap every day
-can sign 'more' and 'all done'
-says moma, dada, and bye bye
-makes kissy noises at you when you're leaving
-will cry some mornings when I put her down at daycare and will grin and wrinkle her nose at me as soon as I pick her back up (little stinker)
- loves her sister and brothers (especially when they're giving her their undivided attention)
-loves to swing (her favorite..she giggles the whole time)
-loves ravioli and bananas
-has absolutely NO interest in walking..she'd rather be carried everywhere (like a little princess should)

At Hattie's one year old well check, we talked about her weight.  It has continued a steady decline on her percentile range.  She started out so big, but has turned into a petite little peanut.  The doctor is not worried yet (she still has "strong" AKA chunky thighs and she eats NON-STOP!), but she has to eventually even out.  Her head circumference and length has stayed the same so they want to make sure that her weight growth does as well.  Her iron was also on the low side so they want to monitor that.  Part of the problem with her weight and iron is that she can't tolerate whole milk, therefore she has to drink almond milk.  It basically doesn't have the nutrients and calories that whole milk would.  She said that we can supplement her almond milk with a supplement that would increase her calcium and other vitamins that she would normally get from the whole milk.  Overall, a good appointment and she actually didn't cry with the doctor this time!

Hattie's 1st Birthday - Mad Hatter Style

Hard to believe my little baby girl is the big O-N-E already!  This year has flown by like nothing I've ever seen.  I'm not going to lie, I had her first birthday party planned out as soon as I found out I was having a girl because I knew Hattie was the name we had picked for a girl.  I even went so far as to have a secret Pinterest board so people wouldn't think I was crazy.  The only three people who knew about it were Chris (of course), my friend Kim (because she's a crazy party planner too) and my SIL Alex (hey, you made it to the blog!). Anyway, on to the party details...

The birthday outfit

The entrance

Mushrooms

Photo props

 The awesome cake

 Smash cake set to her birth time

 11 Months of my baby girl!

 She loved opening her gifts!

 She did not hesitate when it was time to eat!

I had so much fun planning everything for this party and I think everything turned out great.  We kept it pretty small with just family and close friends so that we could really celebrate our little love muffin.  I am just in awe of what a great baby she is.  She fits in perfectly with our little family and I can't imagine what it was like before she was a part of our family.